


What's It Gonna Be?

by icedcoffeebro



Series: Fem!Barisi [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Crack, Declarations Of Love, F/F, Pining, Song Lyrics, Song: What's It Gonna Be? (Shura), genderswapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 02:46:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18682555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedcoffeebro/pseuds/icedcoffeebro
Summary: Rafaela invites Dominique to a lesbian bar to confess her feelings for her.





	What's It Gonna Be?

**Author's Note:**

> Continuing this kind of writing to bring closure to this crack.
> 
> Song: [What's It Gonna Be? - Shura](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ4uBdmnKds)
> 
> In case it's not clear by the tags, category and song, this is a genderswapped version of Barisi.

_Do I tell you I love you or not?_

Rafaela ponders on the question. Should she tell Dominique about her feelings for her? She runs her hands through her short hair and readjusts her suit jacket. 

_'Cause I can't really guess what you want_

Maybe she had read the signs all wrong, maybe Dominique really meant nothing with all those hand brushes and eyelash flutters as she asked “Am I right, counselor?”. Maybe she’d just embarrass herself by confessing her feelings. 

_If you let me down, let me down slow_  
_If you let me down, let me down slow_

‘Ella hasn’t been in a relationship for so long, she can’t even remember her last girlfriend all that well. She vaguely remembers their relationship lasting two months, and that she was a defense lawyer (she had sworn herself off from them afterwards). She wonders if Dominique has ever had a girlfriend, she has heard about her boyfriends, but she has never mentioned an ex girlfriend, even when she’s open about her bisexuality with her. 

_If you got feelings for me_  
_You just gotta speak honestly_

Rafaela stands up from her desk and paces around nervously. Dios, nobody had ever made her nervous about having a conversation. She was usually so smooth, so sharp tongued. Ready to strut her way through life the same way she does in court. But the mere thought of the tall Italian woman rejecting her makes her heart uneasy. 

_If you let me down, let me down slow_  
_If you let me down, let me down slow_

She just wants to explore her long legs.  
She just wants to run her fingers through her wavy long silver blonde hair. 

_I don't wanna be that girl_  
_I don't wanna be that girl_

She won’t admit it, but she’s thought about waking up with the detectives mane fanned on her pillow, having fallen asleep while gently holding her waist. 

_I don't wanna give you up_  
_I don't wanna let you love somebody else but me_

She looks at her phone, the hour she had agreed on with Sonny to meet at the bar approaching. She bites her lower lip. 

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_So what's it gonna be?_

After trying to distract herself with some trial prep, she decides it’s hopeless and heads out. Carmen having left some time ago. She puts her Burberry winter coat on and heads out. 

_I don't wanna give you up_

She walks to the bar, her breath showing on the cold Manhattan air. She closes her lids to let the air hit her. She put on some soft purple eyeshadow to make her green eyes pop. She felt like she was always in a competition with Sonny of who has the most captivating eyes and who’s able to present them better. She has opted for some eyelash extensions, which she noted Sonny wouldn’t stop staring at, damn near drooling. She loves their dynamic, she loves how it never feels boring, always so exciting. 

_I don't wanna make it out like it's no big deal_

Is it exciting because Dominique is significantly younger than her? She can’t remember ever wanting a younger lover, but she doesn’t think Dominique needs to fit any of her expectations. 

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_So what's it gonna be?_

Dominique isn’t the rule. She’s the exception. Rafaela is ready to give up everything for her. She’s thought about it a lot, and she’s ready to disclose to her boss, and to face whatever might happen. She’s not been silent about her lesbianism, but she hasn’t been too vocal, either. 

_I'm praying but don't see the signs_

As she’s about to enter the bar, she hopes for the life of her that Sonny hasn’t noticed her snarky comments were flirting in nature, since she just threw them around to her when she never expected anything to come out of it. She never thought she’d be confessing to her – in a lesbian bar out of all places. 

_I've been praying for you to be mine_

She pushes the door open, a “please God” weakly leaving her red stricken lips. Red is a bold color, but that’s Ella, and she knew that she needed a bold look for a bold move. 

_If you let me down, let me down slow_  
_If you let me down, let me down slow_

She spots Sonny in a bar stool, a pencil skirt on her crossed long legs. Ella imagines running her hands through them, exploring every inch of her body. 

_I don't believe in forever_  
_But I still wanna give it try_

She approaches Sonny, and Sonny gives her one of her easy smiles. That’s the thing about Sonny, she always smiles like she could never run out of joy. It’s one of the reasons Ella fell for her. 

_If you let me down, let me down slow_  
_If you let me down, let me down slow_

Ella sits down next to Sonny, who’s unashamedly admiring her. Everything about Sonny is done without a single hint of shame. Yet another reason Ella loves her. 

_I don't wanna be that girl_  
_I don't wanna be that girl_

After two glasses of whiskey, Rafaela licks her lips and turns to face Sonny, who turns to face her as well. She uncrosses her legs, and Rafaela feels heat hitting her face, hoping her makeup covers her blush. 

_I don't wanna give you up_  
_I don't wanna let you love somebody else but me_

She takes a deep breath, wondering so many things. 

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_So what's it gonna be?_

“I think I love you,” she finally blurts out, Sonny slightly tilts her head, her blue eyes nicely framed by long eyelashes staring up and down at Ella. She can feel her heart on her throat, awaiting Sonny’s reply.

_I don't wanna give you up_  
_I don't wanna make it out like it's no big deal_

“Are you sure?” Sonny replies, her accent coming out strong. 

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_So what's it gonna be?_

“Certain,” Rafaela stares at her short manicured nails, “yeah, I have for a long time,”

_What it's gonna be?_

Sonny stays silent.

_What it's gonna_  
_What it's gonna be?_

Rafaela feels like she could hear a pin drop.

_What it's gonna_  
_What it's gonna be?_

Sonny isn’t looking at her.

_What it's gonna_  
_What it's gonna be?_

The moment feels like forever. 

_What it's gonna be?_

Rafaela knew this moment would change everything.

_What it's gonna_  
_What it's gonna be?_

Sonny licks her lips.

_What it's gonna_  
_What it's gonna be?_

Rafaela takes a sharp breath.

_What it's gonna_  
_What it's gonna be?_

“I’ve…” Sonny says, unable to look Ella’s face, “I’ve loved you for a long time too,”

_I don't wanna give you up_  
_I don't wanna let you love somebody else but me_

Rafaela lets a sigh of relief escape her, “Really?”

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_So what's it gonna be?_

Sonny smiles, looking at the floor, then at Rafaela, “Yeah, yeah, really,”

_I don't wanna give you up_  
_I don't wanna make it out like it's no big deal_

Rafaela smirks.

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_So what's it gonna be?_

“What’s next then?” Sonny asks.

_I don't wanna give you up_  
_I don't wanna let you love somebody else but me_

“We kiss,” Rafaela says, smirk still plastered on her face, “if you want,”

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_(What it's gonna)_

Sonny rolls her eyes, grabs the back of Rafaela’s neck, and pulls her in for a kiss. 

_So what's it gonna be?_

It’s soft and tender, but at the same time hungry and full of desire. Everything Ella dreamed of. 

_I don't wanna give you up_  
_I don't wanna make it out like it's no big deal_

They pull away, both of their faces flushed from their first encounter. 

_So what's it gonna be?_  
_(What it's gonna)_

“Can’t wait for my parent’s reactions when they find this out,” Sonny says, scoffing.

“I think with the kind of guys you and your sisters have been bringing to them, me being a girl will be a relief” 

“Hilarious, Ella,” Sonny says, eyes wide, shaking her head, but with a smile on her face.

_So what's it gonna be?_

**Author's Note:**

> If you have fancasts for fem barisi lmk who
> 
> This p much concludes it unless I get another idea
> 
> Twitter: @adarafabarba


End file.
